See You Next Tuesday

I have been writing this blog for a bit now. Yes; a bit, check the dates there skeptics. Read them and WEEP. Ok, don't weep. I need clear eyes to make it through this blog. Seriously; stop it. Great; how are we gonna make it through a post apocalyptic world on one can of soda pop with emotions like this. Geez.

Anywho, back to center peoples.

Given the content of this blog you could point to a certain honesty and "skeleton" revealing within it. That being if I'm feeling all moody like and or something awful happens, it just might end up here. As with anything you put out, there will be praise or criticism.

What I love are the couple of women I have met who have gone through the process of googling me before really even hanging out with me. I've no problems with the researching that leads them here; that is what it is. I love the women who read my blog, then make a decision to cease trying to get to know or hang out with me based solely on said blog. Not because they talked to me repeatedly or because they shook a hand they felt to be too dry or because I had the sense of humor of a holocaust victim; no no no no no, just because of my blog.

I'll take this stance. If you judge me solely based on a blog alone; you're too dumb and shallow to hang with me to begin with. Really? Over the blog? You know there are dates on the entries that point to each one being at a certain time period i.e. the past. Didn't know if your pretty little readers picked that up.

What's amusing is that it's over these bones I laid out there in the open. I willingly laid them out there. They are there for the taking; whenever, for anyone. These people stop associating because they are turned blah from my post. Given; most of my negative posts from earlier this year are about a woman that smashed my heart into the tiniest of pieces, somebody that changed/affected my life, who I was and that I love(d). I also was having a rough period emotionally; as we all do. These are things I cataloged to a degree. Did I sound like a whiny pussy at times? Yes, but these are a small portion of who I was or may be.

To toss me aside says more about you than I. I'm honest while I have to wait or date you a long while before you start coughing up secrets, fears, or that you're fucked up. Guess what? We're all fucked up, you're not special and not not fucked up. I get to be made to feel awkward or shitty when I accidentally step onto touchy territory because I didn't know before hand while you know where to skate sans thin ice. Real fair huh?

"He might write about me?"

Oh yeah? You planning on being shitty, dumb, or both. No? Then, guess what? You won't be apart of this blog. Stop assuming how special you might be. You're not special. You can become special, but not with your retarded concept of being open minded. So, again, if you're not wanting to hang out because of this blog. Good, get aids via a bomb pop. If you'd like to hang further with no real expectations, then be my guest, but I am a whiny pussy, just so you know.

Up or Anne Hathaway? Who Do I Watch Creepily?

Saw Up tonight. What an amazing film. Best movie of the year so far. If you don't cry at least once during that movie you have no heart anywheres inside yo gutz.

Another treat of the movie was the face that Anne Hathaway was sitting two seats from me. Holy smokes she is gorgeous. Too bad her current dood had to be between my love and I. I was thrilled at the prospect fo enjoying a movie beside an A-lister, until they decided to PDA all over the place. Every five minutes; kiss kiss, smooch smooch, suck my aureoles, enough! It would have been tolerable, downright hot if it was her trying to give all the PDA, but nope, it was her guy. Slumped over her like some scared puppy. His affection reeked of that " OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. I'm banging Anne Hathaway. This can't be real. I better make sure. (Kiss) IT IS!!! I better get as much of this in before she gets rid of me" type of affection. Seemed more desperate and I'm the last person that should be commenting on such topics of desperation.

I mean really, do you need to be affectionate every five seconds? Is Ed Asner getting you going that much? Calm down dood, you're banging Anne Hathaway, you'll be getting high fives constantly for the next ten years from your friends. Relax.

What a douche I am. I say that last statement like I've some experience smoozing with the stars. Like the hotties of Hollywood are clamoring to stay in my basement of death. Heh...heh...Come quick Anne; jump into my barely clean sheets while sucking down the CO2 leak from my stove. What's that you say; you want more dry air? Coming right up sweetie tits.

I'm a schlub and should stick to keeping my nose and advice in my own schlubby world. I stink, but I got to see Up and have a huge erection, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Isn't America grand?!

A Post to Post

I haven't been much inspired to post on this blog as of late. It just hasn't piqued my interest to post stuff on here. It's not like I have been terribly busy. Just got tired of putting sad updates more than likely if I thought about why. I'm sure everyone else was getting tired of "me so sad. bleh BLAH BlEH blah blooooooooo!!!"

Have been hard at work on my comedy; if you can believe. I think I am finally starting to hit the phase where I actual follow through on writing and performing. Taking note of mistakes and the like and correcting them. Starting to have fun doing it again. I think a big problem over this past summer was that I just got burnt out; besides not being too funny to boot.

It's refreshing though now; to have fun on stage, even if the crowd may not be with you all the way. I had a rough old patch, but am wanting and ready to get to work on making this comedy thing into a career.

A helpful thing I think of to keep myself in check was something that comic Sean Patton had said, " Comedy will always be bigger than you; you'll never be bigger than comedy."

It helps to keep you from getting bitter about where you are.

I'm going home to Richmond for the week. Haven't worked in two weeks; so a vacation is in order, and all my bank account can afford to vacation to is ol RVA. It will be nice to get away and also actually eat meals. The turkey bologna sandwich diet is not the best one to have.

It'll be exciting to get on stage down there and hopefully show off where I was to where I am now performing wise. Hopefully, I'll get up at the Richmond Funny Bone while I'm in town.

Things are looking up. Now if Dave Greek would stop avoiding my calls.

Louis CK...

Here is a clip of Louis CK talking about his clip from Conan a few months back. Always great to hear him talk about almost anything. Included the original clip from Conan also.

Interview w/ Time:


Conan:


I'm excited for his new special to come out. Aside from Mike Lawrence, this is the hardest working man in comedy.

288: Kind of a Sigh of Relief

It's a good feeling when you realize that your ex and or exes(depending) are only ten to fifteen percent less immature, asshole-ish, and and fucked up as you. Sometimes you realize they are more than you, but in my case; it's a close second type deal. I'm still number one, but at least I'm able to recognize my follies

290: Meh...

Love never tells you when it's coming, only when it's leaving.

291: Clue

Never play Clue with a cop.

"No Officer Higgs, it's not the black guy.

No one even named Jamal in the game.

There isn't even a switch blade.

...

No you can't plant evidence. Cut it out silly goose."